I started following the TMG in 2023, when the first series began.

Before TMG, my personal life was shaped by many wrong teachings and experiences. I had heard so many teachings on marriage, but somehow they didn’t resonate with me. Even though I am a Christian who loves God and wants to obey Him, I still felt that some things needed to be handled differently.

I had a terrible relational life because of my family background. I believed in marriage but I had terrible opinions, concerns, and weird perspectives. Growing up, I always wanted to get married, but it had to be on my own terms because of how I was raised. I carried a lot of idols or maybe imaginations and strongholds in my head, and one of the strongest of them was submission.

Submission was a big issue for me. I typically described myself as an alpha female because of my upbringing. I grew up being very independent, doing things on my own, and watching families where either men were trampled by women or women had no life because of men. That shaped my mindset completely.

In fact, my career choice was influenced by this. I chose my course of study because I wanted to fight for women. I wanted to deal with men. I wanted men to taste their own medicine. I was ready to fight for every woman whose life had been truncated because of marriage.

So even after becoming a Christian, before TMG even started, I still struggled with submission. I had issues. The male gender felt like something I was constantly at war with. I wanted to prove I didn’t need a man. I wanted to prove I could live comfortably without a man in the picture.

Dependence on a man irritated me. Seeing women cry over heartbreak annoyed me. Vulnerability felt like weakness. My mindset was: “Put yourself together. Be independent. Why cry when men don’t?”

So yes, I wanted to marry, but for the wrong reasons. The picture in my head was: I would get married, but the man would never walk over me. I would not be a walkover woman. Even if the man walked away, I would not crumble because I had built a life separate from him. That was my mindset before TMG.

This struggle lingered. At different times, the Lord was breaking the thoughts and imaginations, but I held onto them for long. I won’t even say I’ve gotten there completely yet—God has helped me greatly, but here and there I still feel a sting when it comes to submission. That’s just the truth of how it was.

Forgiveness, understanding roles, communication, and conflict resolution.

Forgiveness was the beginning of my healing. My help started the day I forgave my dad for my upbringing. For the longest part of my life, I blamed him for everything that happened to me. That’s why my TMG story is mixed with my Christian journey too.

Forgiving him changed everything. I became more open to hearing the Lord speak about marriage. I used to be irritated by the whole concept of marriage. I didn’t like how people made it seem like a woman’s life revolved around marriage. But after forgiving my father, things started shifting.
I remember one time in year two, my father called me and told me marriage is a beautiful thing, that I shouldn’t be discouraged regardless of what I had seen growing up. Because I had forgiven him, I was able to truly hear what he was saying.

Understanding roles helped me so much. I had to accept that God created me as a female for a reason. I used to find pleasure in making men feel less. I wanted to step on toes. I wanted to prove that anything a man could do, a woman could do better. To me, submission was stupidity, weakness, losing your voice, letting someone ride over you. But that’s not submission.

Learning my role as a woman helped me see that a woman actually carries so much power in marriage. Scriptures like Proverbs 15 (a soft answer turns away wrath) and Proverbs 31 helped me. I realized I could build a home. I realized the marriage I wanted could come from understanding and embracing my role, not fighting it.

Communication also helped me. Expressing my fears and concerns brought so much healing. I spoke with people and received wise counsel because I finally opened up about my struggles with submission, vulnerability, and gender roles.

TMG has impacted my life in amazing ways. First, the fact that I can pray about everything concerning marriage is a big deal for me. There was a time I hated every women’s meeting, sisters’ meeting, marriage meeting—M3, L3, all of them. I was always annoyed, boiling on my seat, irritated by every question.

But now it’s different. I have a better understanding. I’m enthusiastic about having a good marriage. I’m working towards it both on my knees in prayer and by changing the things I can physically change.

TMG has helped me in ways that words fail to express. Even as a Christian, without TMG, I would still have been struggling heavily. Now I know I can prepare myself ahead. I can pray, I can ask the Lord to rid me of wrong mindsets before I enter marriage. Knowing that God highlights these concerns now so they can be dealt with before marriage is a big blessing.

I strongly recommend TMG to everyone. The TMG Devotional is one book I want to share with as many friends as possible. The teachings on prayer, hope, and possibility are priceless. Hearing people’s stories also helped me realize that my past wasn’t the worst and that something beautiful can still come out of a bad background.

I thank the Lord for a change of perspective, for growth and understanding. Now I’m enthusiastic about a beautiful home with no option of walking away, no option of threatening to show a man pepper. That used to be the plan—honestly, I was ready to deal with men in this world.

But all this changed through praying, sitting under the word, and allowing God to take over this area of my life instead of fighting on my own.

And that’s why I encourage everyone to read The Marriage Guide