One day in 2018 while I was at the manse, I found myself saying “I’m tired” repeatedly. I was rebuked by pastor Ita when he noticed and he told me to stop saying “I’m tired.” I stopped then, but I did not persevere in it. Little did I know that practical classes awaited me.
On one occasion, I had just returned from Ikot Ekpene and it was already dark, about 7 pm. I stood at a popular junction called Itam junction to board a tricycle to the female hostel of the University, but no tricycle stopped to carry me. I thought maybe the Lord wanted me to preach to someone that night, but I was led to no one in particular. I could not understand what was going on. I had to trek from that junction to the hostel! The distance wasn’t short at all as I used Calabar Itu road, not Ikot Ekpene road.
When I finally got to the hostel, I went like; “Father, what was the purpose of this suffering now? I thought You wanted me to talk to someone or something. Why did I have to trek that long with this heavy bag?”. Then I heard, paraphrasing His words “Have you now seen how much strength you have? I just wanted you to see that you are not as weak as you always claim to be…” So the Father allowed all this to happen just to show me I had strength?
Growing up, I can’t count how many times my mum would say to me, “Women don’t get tired (easily), don’t always give yourself to tiredness. You can do more, no matter how stressed you are. Don’t you see how I work tirelessly?”. My mother sang this song into my ears repeatedly, from when I was a little child.
My response was always, “Ha! Mummy me I get tired o, we are weaker vessels na so we are supposed to get tired easily.” I didn’t want to listen to her.
During the Ladies Lounge and Laugh meeting on Saturday, 8th April 2023, Pastor Ita mentioned the issue of ladies always saying, “I’m tired.” It was then I realized how it had become an anthem to me again. It didn’t even occur to me how bad I had fallen until after that meeting when I started taking note of how often I said it. In the space of 1 hour, I may have said “I’m tired” up to five times. I even noticed some of my sisters who would just say “I’m so tired” casually. I discovered that sometimes, I may not even be very tired, but the moment I say “I’m tired,” I would lose all strength to push further.
I decided to consciously wage war against the demon of “I’m tired.” Every time I’m about to say, “I’m tired, ” I countered it with “I receive strength from the Lord. The Lord is my strength.” I did this even when I was just sensing the thought of saying “I’m tired” from afar. Whenever I said this, I received supernatural strength to do even more.
It’s been weeks now and I haven’t said “I’m tired”, which used to be my auto response to any stress or work. I’m grateful to God for helping me overcome this affliction I’ve suffered for years. Going from saying it multiple times in an hour to not saying it at all in weeks is a miracle! God is good!
