“Despite being born again and baptised in the Holy Spirit, I felt trapped in a cycle of bitterness, sickness, and suicidal thoughts. These problems lasted for more than 30 years…”
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For years, I struggled with intense anger issues, often triggered by minor incidents. This anger manifested physically with a hot sensation in my chest, leading me to pick quarrels and even fight with others. I was unhappy and often harboured unforgiveness toward family members.
My struggles worsened after my mother’s death, particularly when my uncles sold her hospital facilities. For context, my mother had two clinics. I felt God was distant, and my anger, sadness, depression, and suicidal thoughts took a toll on my health. Despite being born again and baptised in the Holy Spirit, I felt trapped in a cycle of bitterness, sickness, and suicidal thoughts. These problems lasted for more than 30 years.
I remember back then, in a Christian fellowship I attended while at the University of Calabar, our emphasis was on prayers. We used to pray most of the time in a place called the Prayer Garden. I thought prayer and fasting alone were going to solve my problems. I did not know that obedience to the Word of God was the answer, and to obey, I needed the atmosphere where the Word of God was continually taught.
The Turning Point
Everything changed when I started attending God’s Lighthouse meetings in 2019, though online. A teaching from Hebrews 6:1–2 transformed my understanding of repentance from dead works and faith toward God:
“Therefore let us move beyond the elementary teachings about Christ and be taken forward to maturity, not laying again the foundation of repentance from acts that lead to death, and of faith in God, instruction about cleansing rites, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment.” – Hebrews 6:1–2
I began to see the truth in Scripture and understand God’s will for my life. As I immersed myself in the Word of God, I learned to listen more when I prayed and to trust in His plan. I now spend more time on the Word of God, reading and studying the Scriptures by chapters and books, and I continually listen to sound teachings.
Over time, the anger, sadness, depression, and suicidal thoughts left me. I now exercise self-control, and I have a newfound calmness. What 30 years of prayer and fasting alone could not solve, 4 years of continually reading and listening to the Word of God solved. While I’m not perfect, I trust God will perfect the work He started in me.
I want to thank God for delivering me from anger, depression, and suicidal thoughts that once consumed my life. I’m grateful for God’s deliverance and the power of His Word to transform lives. Amen.
© GAM 2025
