My Deliverance from the Spirit of Unforgiveness and Instant Irritation
From a young age, I committed my life to Christ and learned the importance of forgiveness. I understood that forgiving those who wronged me was a fundamental aspect of my faith. I practiced instant forgiveness, even without being asked, and made it a point to address issues directly.
However, during my early teenage years, I began to feel proud and entitled due to a position I held in school. I started to believe that people shouldn’t offend me and get away with it. I sought revenge through emotional blackmail, gaslighting, and mental manipulation. I studied psychology and philosophy to better understand human behaviour and use it against those who wronged me.
This behaviour worsened over time, and I found it increasingly difficult to forgive. I became bitter and angry, holding grudges and taking offense easily. A significant event that highlighted my unforgiveness was when I held a grudge against someone who had disciplined me in school. I later realised that their actions were intended to help me learn.
Another instance was when a neighbour wronged my family through a bad business transaction and took it to the media. I felt hurt and vowed never to forgive him. The spirit of unforgiveness consumed me, causing me to hate anyone who resembled those who wronged me.
I knew I needed healing when I realised that seeing these individuals could trigger heart palpitations and potentially lead to a cardiac arrest. I stumbled upon a message from a pastor who shared her experience with unforgiveness and taught me to pray for and bless those who wronged me. Her words brought some healing, but I knew I needed more.
Coming to God’s Lighthouse was a turning point. During a sermon on unforgiveness, Pastor Ita prayed and rebuked the spirit of unforgiveness. I felt an unexpected release, screaming and crying uncontrollably. It was as if something had pierced my chest. This experience was a major deliverance for me, highlighting the need to forgive and let go.
As I sat under the teachings of the Word and consistently prayed Psalm 139 (emphasised in what has been taught), I experienced gradual healing. The irritation and tendency to pick up offences that once plagued me began to lift. Pastor’s teachings emphasised the importance of forgiveness, reminding us that living with others inherently involves potential annoyances. Therefore, we must carry a “bucket of forgiveness” with us.
I learned valuable lessons about addressing conflicts healthily. This includes discussing hurts or offences with the person involved or seeking guidance from a leader, as outlined in Matthew 18.
“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.”
—Matthew 18:15 (NIV)
I also learned to approach disagreements with humility, recognising that I’m not always right, and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide me (the trick the Holy Spirit has been teaching me).
When I returned home during the last holiday, I encountered the man who had previously offended me. In the past, my inclination would have been to snub him. However, this time I was compelled to run to him and greet him warmly. I was astonished by the transformation that had taken place in my heart. I’m deeply grateful to God, as I no longer struggle with forgiveness or irritation.
