“I was sure that if I wasn’t given food, I would get thinner and thinner and probably escape from the earth. However, my belief at the time was: ‘The more I fast, the more I’ll be free.’ I even remember praying and asking God to help me hate food…”
How My Fasting Idol Began
Some years ago, it happened that during a terrible illness, a relative of mine subjected me to days of dry fasting. At first, I wasn’t given details of how long the fast was going to last, so on the first day, I fasted happily.
However, on the second day in the morning, I was already getting very thin, and I was sure that if I wasn’t given food, I would get thinner and thinner, and probably escape from the earth. Still, I was not given any food or water, just a little cup of a very strong mixture of herbs. It was the most bitter drink I’ve ever tasted in my life. At that time, I was just 17 years old, and I hadn’t engaged in such fasts before.
After three days, I broke the fast. But I was unhappy that I was given tea and bread to break the fast after being so famished for days. I felt like eating two or three plates of eba and soup. After this particular fast, I thought I was done, until days later, I was told to engage in another dry fast. This time it was from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m., and I did it.
Again, after that fast was completed, she gave me another three days of fasting from 6 a.m. to 12 p.m., and then a final fast I had with her from 6 a.m. to 9 a.m., which also lasted three days.
After these fasts, my mind shifted. I began to see fasting as the major thing I needed to do before God would respond to my prayers. Fasting is not bad. It is scriptural to fast, but I had idolised fasting so much that even when it was clear that God wanted me to cut down on my fasting, I found it hard to stop.
Moving on from there, I struggled in my work with God for about a year, and then I got serious again. However, the illness began to display some symptoms again, likely because of the open doors I had created. I was afraid of what would happen to me, and so I began to engage in fasting.
It never occurred to me initially that I was not fasting the proper way. So I would fast for days, and if it ever happened that I wasn’t able to fast on a particular day, or I broke a fast earlier than I intended to, I would feel sad and even shed tears on some occasions. All I wanted to do was fast and pray.
At that time, I was fasting so I could remain alive and well. To add to this, I was also fasting with the hope that it would set me free from family issues. My belief at the time was: The more I fast, the more I’ll be free. I remember praying and asking God to help me hate food. My mindset was that it’s better to die fasting and praying than to die sick and doing nothing.
When I came to the university, I knew a preacher who fasted and prayed a lot, so I was encouraged. In the hostel, one of the brothers I stayed with at the time would try to persuade me to eat when he observed that I didn’t, but I didn’t give in. Back then, I’d be so offended at him. I believed the devil was using him whenever he tried to persuade me to eat.
I fasted through work, classes, and practicals. Now, although I know there were some occasions where I needed to fast, I believe the unnecessary fasts were more than the necessary ones.
When I began to attend God’s Lighthouse, I found out something strange to me at the time. Back then, on Sundays, I would usually come here after my parents’ church meeting had ended. And upon arriving, Pastor had already begun preaching. On multiple occasions, it happened that a few moments after I settled down, Pastor would divert and begin to preach about fasting. He’d preach and preach, then at some point, he would say someone was distracting him, that is, someone was making him teach on that topic instead of what he had originally planned, or continue with what he was teaching before the detour to fasting.
One day, while this was going on, my gaze fell on Brother Uduak, who had invited me, and he was smiling at me. Now, Pastor was not saying that it was bad to fast. He was addressing the improper ways in which I fasted. But because it was an idol to me, I didn’t see what he was pointing out. I was not ready to let go. I would argue with him in my mind. Whenever Pastor switched to fasting immediately after I settled down, my thoughts were usually that “I wouldn’t survive if I stopped fasting.”
How Then Did I End the Unnecessary Fasts?
When I sensed that my health was beginning to deteriorate, I had to reconsider my eating habits. The realisation that I had to begin to eat made me weep. I believe this was the only way I was willing to yield because I was so stubborn and refused to simply obey the things I was hearing being taught in church over and over again.
Then the understanding of what a ‘God-approved fast’ is began to come as well. I was so shocked to see that God’s people could fast for years, even as much as 70 years, and God was not interested because they were not obeying His laws. It blew my mind. Isaiah 58 and Zechariah 7 are some of the passages that teach about God’s approved fast, and I encourage everyone reading this to look at what the scripture says about the fasting that is pleasing to God. I now understand that fasting should be done in obedience to God!
I thank God for liberation from my wrong mindset, for understanding and a massive improvement in my health.
The Grace for New Songs
The fact that songs can be received spontaneously was a strange thing to me before coming to GLH. I wasn’t much of a music fan, but when I fell into months of depression, music became a major weapon for fighting and healing.
Before now, I lived in depression for months. It was in that period of seeking freedom that God began to give me new songs, which He used to help me out of the depressed state I was in. At some point in 2023, I had a dream where I was shown some things I felt the Lord would have me do for Him, and one of them was to praise Him. I didn’t understand it then, because I had expected Him to mention something related to evangelism.
I was surprised at the kindness of God, manifested in how I received these new songs, which then brought clarity to the dream. I remember that during that period, if I wanted a new song, all I needed to do was ask. After I asked, what would happen next was that I’d hear a tune in my head. When I followed up with the tune, the lyrics would start coming. I was amazed at the short interval between my asking and receiving. It made me wonder, “Is this how easy it is to receive new songs?”
God has helped me receive new songs in my local language too!
This whole experience has brought me so much joy and satisfaction, and I am truly grateful for God’s help in my life and for delivering me from the idol of deadly fasting.
© GAM 2025
