Adjusts wrapper and gele…
During my devotions earlier, I was led to listen to a prophetic word I had received in 2018 which spoke about how I was fighting furiously with an enemy (a dummy) who wasn’t fighting me. It was more of a game to the big, teddy bear-looking enemy. Immediately I heard it, I knew it referred to lust. But even at that, it was still a bit hard to believe that the enemy wasn’t so serious or that I shouldn’t have exerted so much energy since it was like a won battle. This word gave me some respite.
CONTEXT: Sometime in 2015, I broke off the relationship I was in (the break up before the final one– you know how it is with these things) and started becoming very serious with God again, just picking the pieces of my walk with God and moving on. I was alone in Abuja for externship and this was the perfect opportunity to focus on God and my books; and focus, I did. I would have all those beautiful times with God. One day on my way to court, the Holy Spirit said to preach in a bus (first time ever) and frightened as I was with those many Hausa men, I opened my mouth and preached to a bus full of men. “If I die, let me die.” It encouraged others and one even paid for my trip, if I recall correctly. Anyway, I think it was on this day or one of such days that I had my very first intense lust attack. I don’t clearly recall having such before, maybe I did but my memory is faint now.
I was shocked beyond comprehension. “Where did that thought come from? How? Jesus, help me. Not in my mind.” I was helpless or so, I thought. Here I was, trying to love God and an intruder comes in? But the seed had been sown. It was demoralising because it was a daily battle. I fought it with a holy anger; every whim or scent of a lustful thought was faced squarely, pulled out and attacked. I would quote Scriptures, sing loudly and shake my head to keep it out, furiously at first but gently as I went on. Then, I heard Pastor explain that you could fight some battles by smiling at the very sniff of it, “Oh devil, you’ve come?” I practiced that and would totally ignore it until times when the pressure mounted strongly and I would have to get my arsenal out.
TESTIMONY: Holy Spirit prompted me to think back to the last time I had or fought a lust attack and I couldn’t even recall. I tried several times but I couldn’t. I screamed for joy and danced in His presence. This was surreal. It was almost unbelievable but hey, I’m a believer. I believe in God’s power of redemption, that there are areas of tough battles which almost seem unyielding but which would be broken off just like that. Now, the intensity had reduced over the years from 2015 to either 2019 or 2020 but this complete absence of battles is just mind blowing. I am a believer, yes, I believe not because I’ve seen it now but because His word says so. He is rolling it back all the way to Adam. You know you can get so used to fighting that you believe this is your life, it just becomes a part of you and you almost forget to keep the promise of the New Covenant constantly before you. You feel it is still far. Now, I can say to all present battles, “I have already overcome you all. Time is coming and soon when I will be as loving, careful, bold and much more just as God designed it.”
EPILOGUE: Now, where are those ‘hard’ battles I am fighting again? Come and see how your predecessors went down like a pack of cards.
