By my final year and during law school, I had gotten to the point where I had fraudsters, popularly called Yahoo boys as my friends. Not every single one of them was a fraudster, but the ones who were in it were doing very well so they could afford to fund our foolishness. Whenever my friends arrived in my state, I would go pick them up with and we would paint the town red! Little by little, I began falling deeper and deeper into this lifestyle (details will be shared in subsequent parts.)
At the same time I was praying “God, save me from sexual irresponsibility, Father, save me from masturbation and pornography,” I was going to clubs. We graduated from regular clubs to strip clubs and this was a whole new level. And then, I got an STD. This season was a marker in my life.
After Law school, I moved to Lagos for my National Youth service Corps. During this time, I started having dreams and nightmares which would get really vivid and terrifying. I’ve had something beat me up in my room! I was having a remarkably terrifying time in my life, and nobody had a history of being mad in my family. So I thought I might become the first mad man in my family. I would sleep and wake up and see a figure on top of me. I’ve had things defile me sexually.
Sis D, who moved to Lagos around that time began discipling me. I would call her regularly to tell her my ploy and she started coming to see me every weekend. She would dedicate time to me teaching me the Bible for hours. This was when I started to learn the scriptures properly. I would try to study here and there on my own but it was just a little, at least I was making a bit of progress. I was still struggling with lust, and masturbation; I would come home from work to masturbate, or spend all afternoon, or evening watching pornography. I hated myself.
I was disgusted by myself, and one of the things that irritated me most was that I had to wake up the next morning, take a bath, brush my teeth, wear a fine suit, go to a big law office, and act like everything was fine! “Hey I got this! I got this! I’m doing alright!” – all lies. There were days I woke up from a terrifying nightmare screaming and crying as a grown man. Imagine a grown man crying because of a dream! I had to call Sis D, who would calm me down over the phone, and pray for me. There were days I called her with a knife in my hand. I wanted to commit suicide and she would start to rebuke it. Essentially, God saved my life through her that period because I was pretty sure I wanted to die. I was tired, I had gotten to my wits end.
Then I started to have specific kinds of dreams where I would see myself in a classroom sitting with other students. It happened a couple of times. My discipler would interpret them to me – she said it represents a season of sitting down to learn. I had another set of dreams where I was always in battle fighting with something, pursuing something, or being pursued by something. I didn’t know to write down my dreams until my discipler mentioned it. I would start here and there and wasn’t initially consistent, but I did remember the notable ones and record them.
And then, I start to get words about my girlfriend. I fell in love a long time ago. Have you ever been in love? I had been in a long relationship for five years. I was pretty sure I was going to marry her…until I began to get promptings from the Holy Spirit to break up with her. I had to explain to the Holy Spirit: (A dialogue between the Holy Spirit and I)
Me: I’ve dated this person for 5 years.
Holy Spirit: “He (God) knows, He didn’t send you.”
Me: Holy Spirit, you don’t understand, let me explain. “I’ve seen her family,”
Holy Spirit: “I know, I didn’t send you”.
Me: But at least do you also know that she has seen my own family too? She has stayed with my family.
Holy Spirit: “I didn’t send her too.”
Me: What if we convert her? You know, You are trying to save people, save her!
Holy Spirit: That’s not your problem.
Me: I can do this. Trust me. Holy Spirit, you know me like that. Let me tell you about me. If I put my mind to something I can do it, just leave her for me. I will save her!
We battled about this for almost a year from the first time I got the leading that I should let her go. Let me share a little experience that made me know God was truly on my matter. Normally I used to find it very difficult to fall asleep, but the insomnia would disappear every time she called me that she was coming over to see me. I’d fall asleep immediately I touched the bed, and dream. In the dream one day, I was warned, “Don’t touch that girl when she comes near you,” I woke up immediately and was fine as though nothing happened, but fell asleep again and had the same dream. This happened about three times in a row. I had only been asleep for about 45 minutes to 1 hour. When she finally arrived, I was worried that she was looking at me. “Why are you acting all weird?” She asked. “Nothing my sister, God bless you. How are you? Sit down and yeah, I’ll sit over here. God bless you!” “Is everything Okay? She asked. By now she was very concerned. “I couldn’t be better!” I responded. I didn’t know how to explain what was happening to me at the time. I couldn’t tell people a lot of the things I was dealing with because madness did not run in my family! And I thought speaking out would amount to having signs of madness. I would manage to somehow fight with every prompting I got. I tried to fight with God when I didn’t agree with what He said.
At that time too, one of my old friends, the leader of the internet fraudsters met with me. I had also been getting warnings about my friends/company. I would not be able to grow properly if I kept mixing with bad company. During our conversation, he was telling me how they just concluded a successful deal in South Africa. It was like a Ponzi scheme in which he had gotten a lot of people into. They made millions of dollars. He added that two people committed suicide because their accounts were cleared! I had been in conversations with people who said “Oh, I’m going into yahoo, but I’m not going to kill anybody or sacrifice anybody.” That day, for the first time, it dawned on me – they were killing people! I knew I had to obey but how?
Visiting Uyo
In 2018 (before I went to Lagos), I was counselled to visit Uyo, but I refused at first, and even the second time. Then one day, I couldn’t take the nightmares anymore; I threw a few clothes into a bag and ran outside to tell my parents I was traveling. “Where are you going? They asked, “Don’t worry. Don’t worry about it.” I went to the first park and there was no vehicle going to Uyo, I got to the second park, and the third, still no vehicles. “God does not want me to come. I’ve tried!” I concluded and went back home.
At last, I made the journey to Uyo in the last week of November, 2019. I got to the meeting hall before the meeting commenced. We had been worshipping for a short while when suddenly, a male voice in the crowd started shouting, “You committing sexual immorality…” then I began to complain to myself, “I think you see? It is not me that brought myself, I did not want to come.” The voice continued “How dare you! You came in here to defile my house?” I continued responding, “I said it is not me, it was a mistake. It is sister D that brought me. Just let me go, I won’t come here again.” Then the voice said, “You will learn to fear.” I was already terrified. What did I need to learn again? I had heard someone prophesying in the messages I had been listening to, but hearing and being physically present was not the same. At the end of the meeting, sis D asked how the meeting went, I said it was fine. I told her I needed to travel to do something very important, she tried to dissuade me but I told her I was going to return. I was very uncomfortable and just wanted to get away. Of course now I’ve come to learn it was the demons at work in me that were fighting because they knew deliverance was coming and didn’t want to become homeless. I had spent barely two days in Uyo before I went to Enugu state to stay with my yahoo friends, and I thought I felt better. I even went to church there. I went back to Port Harcourt from there, and had no plans to return to Uyo…
I told myself that I was going to Lagos and was going to forget all the things that happened to me. Yes. I booked my ticket and got everything ready for my trip the next morning. That morning, the unexpected happened. I woke up screaming from pains coming from my abdomen. My family was so terrified. I was in excruciating pain. They called a doctor to my bed who gave me some medication and injections that doused the pain and I slept off. Before I slept off, I was telling my mother, “I know that you’re worried because of the way I’m acting, but trust me it has nothing to do with my stomach. I know what I’m running away from, I know who is holding me here.” Have you ever read the Book of Jonah? Has God had your time before?
I woke up a couple of hours later, almost completely fine. Now, of course, I had missed my trip. People reached out, they wanted me to go back to Uyo but my mind was made up. “I won’t go back to that Uyo.”
Then my past came calling, both old and new flames decided to reach out. Flames of different colours, red, blue, black… I went out with them and stumbled into the same sexual immorality I had been trying to get free from.
“Uh, okay, God, I’ll go back to that place. I’ll go back for maybe two or three days.” So I carried my things. “You said you were going to Lagos?” my mother asked. “I’m not going to Lagos again” I responded. “Where are you going?” she asked further. “I’m going to Akwa Ibom state”… and I went back there a second time. Shortly after I was just welcomed, somebody started to prophesy again. This time my name was mentioned though quietly as she was taken to another room. The details of this prophecy was shared with me by my discipler after many months when the time was right.
There was still chaos up in my head shortly after I arrived Uyo. I wondered what it was as it seemed God and the devil were trying to drive me nuts. I was staying in a hostel accommodation with two other brothers who attended GLH. There’s nothing that I didn’t hear in my head. “Look at you big lawyer. You came here to stay with students. You should be ashamed of yourself”. Then I’d reply to my thoughts, “Leave me, let me stay with students.” Has the devil disturbed you before? Ah, goodness me. I would hear these voices, and at a point, I’d give in and tell my discipler sis D that I was leaving. She would patiently encourage me and I’ll decide to stay longer. But one day, I couldn’t take it anymore. I packed up all of my things and was ready to leave. Sis D couldn’t stop me this time, but she requested that I wait till afternoon as she has a meeting so that she would escort me to the park. I said okay, ended the call and went back into the room.
Then I heard a voice, “What is wrong with you?” It wasn’t a loud voice, and nobody was sitting behind me. “Go outside, I want to talk to you. You know I sent you here for a reason and you’ve been misbehaving and messing around for a while now but it’s time.” I stood there, listening. I knew it wasn’t my mind and it wasn’t demons either. I went back and unpacked. That’s how I stayed longer in Uyo and spent up to a month and some days. In that time, I calmed down, goodness me, I didn’t know my head could be that clear. It was not possible. I was having a fantastic time! So this is how clean a person can be? That period was so beautiful. My family kept calling me every week. “Where are you now? It’s Christmas, won’t you come back to the Village?” “I’m not coming yet. Maybe next week, I’ll come.” I’ll say…weeks passed and I stayed on basking in the presence of God. I sat under the word of God consistently, underwent the Believers Bible School where I asked a couple of questions and didn’t miss any church meetings. My mind was undergoing a reworking and I was certainly grateful for the changes.
Then, I thought
“I’m completely fine now, I’ve been repaired. Let me just go back into the world and make it!”
I left Uyo, even though I was counselled to stay longer. Went back to Port Harcourt for a short while, and then back to Lagos.
Have you ever heard about a demon returning with seven more when it comes and sees an empty room? That’s what happened to me… Find our more in part 2
