From childhood, I battled with lust and improper sexual desire. I was introduced to a world of sexual immorality after I slept with our domestic help at very young age (probably 7 or 8 years) who was about 7 years older than me. She was about to bath me when this happened, and this happened twice.
I was an avid reader and engaged in novel challenges. My father had a bookshelf with old novels and some of them were romance novels. Reading Harlequinn Blaze series was the beginning of my downfall, the book was 99% erotic. During that period, I went for the holidays in my Uncle’s house and there I also read more erotic novels. Once I started reading a book, I couldn’t stop until I was done reading every single word. I even read with the moonlight because I was so desperate to finish the book when there was no other source of light. At some point, reading romantic novels didn’t satisfy me anymore as I craved for more in the form of pornography and sexual immorality. I had a small china phone back then by the time I got into Junior Secondary School and I used this to watch pornographic videos to satisfy my lust. Of course, obscenity followed because out of it flows the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23).
These actions opened me up to constant battles against lust. Homosexuality stepped in when I was in JSS3. This happened one day while I was sweeping the class, one of the boys in my class came to me, pushed me against the wall and molested me (touched my genitals). Now, I struggled with lust not only for the female folk, but also for males. In fact, I struggled more with homosexual attraction. This was worsened by the presence of lots of gay students in my secondary school who I saw behave in improper ways with each other. I became desensitized to these things and saw them as normal.
When I entered the university, one of my roommates made me watch the movie ‘Spartacus’ with his laptop even though I knew the movie contained explicit content (lots of sexual scenes) from childhood. This worsened the already existing lust struggles as I had fed my eyes with filth and my imagination grew wild. I didn’t struggle much with pornography in my first year because I didn’t have a smart phone. But in 2018, during the three months strike that involved the universities, I got a smart phone, and soaked myself in pornographic videos that were mostly homosexual.
In one of the CLASFON (Law student fellowship) meetings in 2nd semester, year 1, Pastor Ita was invited. After the message, he made an altar call where I gave my life to Christ, but I didn’t come to God’ Lighthouse till about 6 months later. During this period, I sank deeper into lust. I began to spend a lot of money on data to download or stream pornographic videos online. I could buy a block of recharge cards just to subscribe, ranging from 500-1000 daily. Once, I spent 3000 in one day. I used the data. This affected my finances and general wellbeing but it didn’t matter. It was beyond my control.
By now, I had started attending God’s Lighthouse but was still very new and disobedient – this was in March 2019. My discipler became aware of my struggles and gave counsel repeatedly on how I was supposed to fight – from being accountable, to raising an alarm anytime I was tempted, studying the Bible and using the sword of God (the word of God), and prayers; but I was too lazy and disobedient and didn’t fight the urge whenever it came. I continued to struggle with this till the Passover retreat in April 2021.
On the last day of retreat, pastor began to call out various demonic issues that plagued God’s children. Then my particular case, sexual immorality – homosexuality was mentioned. Before this happened, pastor had led us to renounce the spirits of certain strongholds in our lives which I did. Suddenly, I saw myself of the floor and began to repent. When I stood up, I felt different and had peace in my heart.
Normally I didn’t have any attraction for females, but after the retreat…I noticed I’d have like a funny feeling of attraction towards females (of course I was taught not to feed it), but it was a great deal because this was normalcy restored. I was able to relate with guys normally as opposed to the uncomfortable feeling I had when males were close to me or touched any part of my body, even parts like my shoulders. I also found my desire to read novels greatly reduced, now I only read Christian novels if I have to and I am able to resist anything romance. I was delivered from the shackles of lust and homosexuality and I am very grateful for the freedom and peace that has filled my heart.
