The background
My introduction to lesbianism began when we had a relative come to help around our house in Jos for some time. The rooms were filled and she had to sleep in my room. At first, she slept on the floor but then she started asking to come to my bed because the floor was usually cold. At my age then, I didn’t think much about it as I had never been exposed to such a thing. When I allowed her to join me on the bed, she started touching me intimately and that was the beginning of my journey with lesbianism.
When I got to secondary school, I went to an all girls school. Unknown to me, the school had a lot of lesbian activity. There were seniors in the school that were consistently trying to get me to be their lesbian partner, for some reason, they usually preferred younger girls. The more I refused, the more I was punished, some even told me to kneel down under the bunk!
In one particular instance, one of the seniors asked me to carry her bucket of water to the area outside where she would bathe and when I got there, she told me to shave her private parts. Of course I refused, and she made me kneel there while she had her bath.
I was punished in different ways throughout Junior Secondary School because I didn’t want to get involved with the other females. In senior secondary, however, a lot changed. When I got to SS1, I started to think differently. I desired the advantages that came with having a partner, which included not being punished, enjoying treats and so on.
There was a girl who repeated a class and ended up in SS1 with me. She really liked me and made her intentions known. She asked if I could be her partner, her ‘Kus’ as we called it then. I didn’t say yes, but my actions granted her permission and so she became my first official try at lesbianism. Even though I was punished by a senior who liked her which discouraged me, the girl was persistent and I caved in. By the time I was in SS2 and I was made a supervisor to some junior students, I had a barrage of love notes, provisions, gifts like nightwears, customized shirts, bedsheets, clothes and food from both my junior and senior partners. I became involved with so many girls that they started calling me ‘Alhaji’ in school. I was involved with about 10 to 12 people at once sometimes. Sure, I gave my body but I wouldn’t touch them back, I always felt it was nasty.
In 2014, I left Jos because of the insecurity there at that time and I relocated to Uyo to start my tertiary education. It felt like a clean slate for me because I didn’t have girls around me anymore even though I still had 2 of my partners from secondary school communicating with me. One of them was the daughter of a Federal Minister in Abuja who sent me money for upkeep and would book my flight to Abuja when she wanted me to visit her so she could shower me with more gifts and spoil me. This continued until I lost my phone and was too lazy to go and retrieve my line. That was how I lost contact with all my partners.
One day, I was walking down a street in Uyo and I was approached by some older women. They blew kisses at me. It was the weirdest thing. It seemed as though I had a spirit hovering over me and drawing them to me. That is how I started going out with older women.
As I continued this lifestyle, I started to feel afraid that I was getting too involved with women and people, especially men, would start suspecting me. So in order to cover my tracks, I decided to get involved with men too. I kept about 4 boyfriends at the same time because I didn’t want to tarnish my image even though I hated being with them. I started to think like a feminist because I felt I had money without them and they couldn’t impress me. I felt that men were not relevant because it seemed women knew how to take care of their lovers more than men as they would lavish me with gifts.
However, the women were terribly jealous, always looking into my phone and looking out for any competitors. These were people’s mothers and even though I felt slightly bad, greed for all the benefits I would get prevented me from walking away.
Finally, the Light…
When I was in my third year in the university, I met a lady named sis P. She was in her fourth year and she made it a point of duty to invite me to God’s lighthouse. She kept inviting me for a whole year. I gave her all sorts of excuses but she didn’t give up. Anytime she saw me, she would check up on me, hug me and get me something to eat if I was hungry. I thought she was really nice.
One day, in 2017, I ended up coming to God’s Lighthouse by chance. I lost my key and while waiting for one of my friends, another friend brought me to her church and it happened to be God’s Lighthouse. That was where my deliverance began. First, I got born again and I was guided to get rid of every form of communication I had with my partners, both male and female. I deleted and blocked a lot of numbers, and stopped hanging out with the wrong company. The process was made bearable because I was surrounded by brethren who were very involved in each step. As I got separated from darkness, I drew closer to light. Then God intervened and my phone got lost again. By now I understood the purpose and I didn’t go through the stress of having to retrieve my line. I just started afresh again.
I started attending church meetings regularly and that was how my deliverance started coming – through the teachings. A major deliverance came from the FARS seminar when pastor Ita taught about how relationships should be. Other times was during church meetings when pastor Ita taught about a woman submitting to a man in marriage. I struggled a lot because I did not want to get married as I had started to think men were unnecessary. On days when I eventually decided I would get married because of the pressure, I decided I would still keep my lesbian partner. I knew no one would suspect, they’d just think it’s my best friend. God worked a lot in my mind to clean up this terrible way of thinking through the teachings in the house.
I also became very embarrassed about my past after I got born again. I refused to share my testimony because I didn’t want people to see me in any light. I really felt embarrassed, I didn’t remember that the devil was preventing me from coming to the light so that my brethren would not watch out for such pitfalls and help me be cautious.
I struggled with females who dressed carelessly around other females and was so glad that my pastor preached about dressing properly even when in the midst of only girls. During this period as well, I still struggled with dreams of myself being with older women but sharing my testimony helped complete my healing, and all those dreams disappeared!
Looking back now, I feel like I had a brain wipe as I forgot for a good while all my past experiences and only had to remember them because I needed to share my testimony. God is too kind. I am grateful to Him for restoring my purity and teaching me the right way to go.
Praise God.
