I got born again in 2020, before the corona virus lock down began. But I was a confused Christian. Though born again, I was not enlightened about a lot of things especially spiritual matters. I loved God no doubt because of my past and how He had delivered me from a lot of what I had gone through (masturbation, pornography, lesbianism, sexual immorality), but I never understood the concept of SPIRITUAL WARFARE.
During the lockdown, I had to return back to Lagos from Uyo. Initially, I remained serious with God, but with time, I began to fall a little here and there. At first, it was things like grumbling and keeping grudges with my siblings. I opened the door slightly and then the devil stepped in with all his might.
Then, I got into an ungodly relationship. The man approached me and asked for my hand in marriage. I told the pastor of my church in Lagos back then about it. In my small head, I thought it was me getting to know my husband to be early enough, say seven years earlier before we get married. For context, I was just sixteen years and a few months old. I was told that it was not possible to wait that long for a person, but I ignored counsel. I thought I was in love. He too spoke with his pastor who was female – she gave her support but told him to give me more time. During this time, we maintained constant communication and committed sexual immorality alongside.
I got so emotionally attached to him that one day, I informed my pastor that I would like to leave the workforce in church (choristers, ushers, media team and prayer team) because being in an immoral relationship was against the rule of the church. I decided to leave because I didn’t want to be a sinner in service.
My supposed fiancé was a graduate who had a good paying job and didn’t need my assistance in any way. I really wanted to be useful, so I thought ‘I can intercede for him.’ By now the strike had been called off and I returned to Uyo. Exams were at hand but this didn’t deter me. On days I didn’t have exams, I would lift him up in prayers.
Soon, I started trying to pull down strongholds in his family. I got prophetic words though I didn’t know what they were at that time. I was just so inexperienced. The prayers got intense with time and I started getting demonic confrontations in my sleep. One time, one of the demons asked me why I was trying to fight a battle I couldn’t win. I was told to stop praying and stay away from him but I didn’t quit. I continued.
On another occasion in a dream, I saw myself in a cemetery lying on top of a grave. I sat up immediately and began to think of how to escape when I noticed spirits ascending from the graves to gather for a meeting. They looked like young people, so I laid down and pretended like I was dead hoping I wouldn’t be noticed but I was. They insisted I must be put to death because I had seen them. I struggled with them for a while then my grandfather, who is still very much alive appeared and pulled me away from them. Then I woke up. My grandfather has a habit of praying for his children and grandchildren every morning when he wakes up, so I think God used him to save me from that situation. But it still did not occur to me that I needed to stop the prayers after this encounter.
After this second encounter, I became very sick. So sick that I had to be carried to the village for treatment. I wasn’t responding to treatment and I felt like I was going to die. But, I was still stubborn. I continued praying for him and each time I closed my eyes, I would see a female demonic spirit come to warn me to leave him alone, but I refused. Then I got the impression that she was like a spiritual wife. Soon after, whenever I slept at night, she would come and press me and almost strangle me to death in my sleep. This happened about three times before I began to consider the option of stopping the prayers. My grandma also got so sick to the point of death after I had seen what looked like the spirit of death woven around her house in one of my dreams.
One night, while asleep, I saw this female demon again in my dream and she wanted to strike. At that instant, I shouted with a loud voice in my dream, ‘‘I’m not fighting again oh! I give up.’’ Even when I woke up, I continued to shout. After that dream, I began to respond to treatment, and by another three to five days, I was fine! My grandmother also started responding to treatment.
I didn’t know the damage the incident had done till I came to God’s lighthouse and heard Pastor talking about spiritual warfare and how we are not supposed to pull down principalities and powers which are way above our sphere of authority except we are specifically sent by God. I had experienced the consequences of such unauthorized warfare so I knew enough not to argue. One of the effects of this was that I avoided anything called intercession. I couldn’t even intercede for my family members talk more of a friend.
Few weeks ago when Pastor was talking about gifting and callings, he asked for those who felt they may be called into intercession. Though I was unsure, I reluctantly raised my hand hoping that pastor was only asking because he wanted to give us more instances of how the gifting worked. I was shocked when he conscripted all whose hands were raised as intercessors who were meant to attend a series of meetings that week. I went for the prayer meeting the next day and pastor gave an exhortation on spiritual warfare. Then he went on to explain what we may likely encounter if we took the prayers casually. Unknown to pastor, the analogy he was giving was exactly what happened to me. Suddenly I became very afraid, I had opened myself up to a demon of fear.
I began to look for any opportunity to leave. I wrote a note to one of the leaders in the meeting and made an attempt to leave but I was stopped by Pastor. Thank God I didn’t leave because the light and understanding that came afterwards was magnificent. Pastor taught extensively on this subject and I understood why the devil had a grip on me even when I thought I was fighting him – SIN. Though I had given my life to Christ at that time, a life of sexual immorality amongst other unconfessed sin gave the enemy a right to attack me. As Pastor spoke, it was like he opened up my covered wounds. At first it was painful, but with time, a soothing feeling replaced the pain. I felt peace and healing come on this area of my life.
Deliverance came to me that day, fear was cast out and I am now able to intercede for both my country, family, friends and the church of God. I no longer dread praying as I used to. I am very grateful for the truth of His words that brought freedom to me. Sin in a person’s life will always give the enemy a foothold over you. Deal with unconfessed or hidden sin, and do not engage in any warfare with soiled garments – you will harm yourself.
As for the relationship that I almost killed myself for, I found out that the supposed brother had other ladies he was promising marriage too. A major lesson learned is that ‘there is a proper time and procedure for every matter though a person may be weighed down by misery’